Feyi and I have been friends for 9 years now. Feyi is lovely, jovial, full of life, full of wisdom, intuitive, doesn’t get angry easily and I love her. But guess what? I love Feyi for as many reasons as I could hate her if I choose to.
Itunu is my bestie. We spend hours upon hours talking about God and it’s interesting cause it makes us love each other more. She’s very calm, extremely emotional, a good listener and genuinely a God lover…. and yes, I love her for as many reason as I could hate her if I choose to.
What’s this scenario about? Hold on you’ll get it soon.
Most times when people hear of ‘Love’ they automatically think of the love that exist in a relationship between a man and a woman. In church and marriage counselling class, intending and young couples are also spoken to about ‘unconditional love‘. More often than not, this couple’s nod their head in agreement and propose in their heart to love their spouse unconditionally as it has been preached. Unfortunately, they soon realise that they are unable to do so. They end up divorced or simply cohabit with each other .
Why is this so?
It is not unconditional if the love meets all the conditions
There is a need for people to know that the supposed ‘Love and unconditional love‘ we talk about, sing about or speak about does not begin and end in a relationship. It is not an element to be infused in a part of your life because of the benefits that comes with it . It is important to note that it is a discipline that should be inculcated into our core values . Love is liquid, it spreads….if you can’t love those around you then you can’t practice unconditional love with your spouse.
You can’t be constantly cussing and fighting with everyone because you think they make you cuss and fight
For the love walk is a daily walk. To ‘love unconditionally’ is to love those around you for the mere fact that they don’t meet all of the conditions that you want in them. It is a revelation of Christ love to us , it is deliberate act, a discipline and a decision. I believe that when we begin to think this way, it will be easy queasy to bring this ‘unconditional love’ in whatever relationship we find ourselves in.
On a side note: Thanks to social media we think we know so much about the life of certain people we follow online . For some reason, we think the beautifully, strategically edited pictures that may/ may not make us feel we’re either missing out on something or not doing something right is the real life. And so, when this people disappoint us or stab our expectation of them – we jump into their comment session and say all sort. We become the judge and Jury of their situation, we then make ourselves the chief advisory manager. Practice love instead , tuck your fingers away and discipline your mind.
The love walk is not beans but I love because I choose to.
I ‘choose to’ because that is what Christ would have me do.
I ‘do it’ because he enables me
I am not there yet, far from it ….but I am in for the long haul of learning how to love more each day
Thanks for reading.