“God after all my prayers …
When I was in 100 level I decided to change my course of study from Physics to Biochemistry .I seriously prayed from the depth of my heart (so I thought..) , I declared that the change was successful and I went through the necessary process to make it happen. Out of faith , I started attending Biochemistry classes and taking their test. I was so confident that I told people I was studying Biochemistry whenever they asked me what course I was taking .I was further reassured of answered prayers when the HOD of my department wrote an excellent referral for me.
I had peace that my prayer was answered, I walked and exercised my faith, I thanked God in advance ….what more could I have done? . Despite this, the transfer didn’t go through. Even worse, I had bad grades that year because I had missed out a lot attending another class. I am sure people laughed at me when I returned. I became mad at God and I stopped praying or listening to my spirit. I still attended church and participated in church activities , but my heart was far from him. I lost faith, I lost hope and I killed a relationship .
“After all my prayers. …I cried.
Recently I asked him a question and he whispered in my heart “I am not a trade by barter God”
In my most rebellious state , I notice he still blesses me! And sometimes I notice that I experience more favour than when I am in my supposed godly state. I am confused sometimes. …I recently told him I was confused and I asked him to tell me what I was doing/did to get favoured so I could continue (smart girl!). He said to me instead: “I am not a trade by barter God, I love you irrespective of what you do. I am not human who expects you to reciprocate niceness or loyalty directly or indirectly just because they do you a favour. ….I am God!”. “I want a fellowship and a relationship with you that is not based on selfish fleshly desires”
《Not that God isn’t interested in our welfare, he just doesn’t want our fleshly 》《desire to be the basis of a relationship with him
All the ways of man are pure in his sight but the lord weighs the spirit. Proverbs 16:2
He continues. “People participate in many church activities and excessive prayer, not because they desire to be with me but because they think if I see them do this, I’ll be forced,moved,obliged,constrained,impelled or compelled to bless them. I don’t want your excessive prayers and church participation just because you want something in return (Some people do this without realising what they are doing ).I weigh the intent of the heart! It is because you think I do trade and barter , it is the reason you cry And I prayed o when you don’t get an answer to your prayers. I am not man, I don’t do trade by barter, I do not measure activities, I weigh the spirit and I am more than willing to bless you than you can ever imagine. My love is wild for you.
Me to you: While I may not have all of the revelation regarding this, I leave you with the scripture below. But note, if you have to worship God , worship him because he is worthy of it; if you want to fast and pray do so because you want your spirit to grow and get more attuned to his voice. He sees your heart , he sees how your mind craves for independence. He can’t be deceived! He is not a trade by barter God!
And now brethren I commend you to God and the word of his grace (Awesome beauty of God’s character, loving kindness, bestowing unconditional blessings to the UNDESERVING )which is able to build you up. Act 20:32
May God open our understanding to learn more! That we may increase in revelation and function as we should…Kings and priest born of God.