‘Unaware’ – The Beginning

UNAWARE

In thoughts of the little girl and a friend whom I love

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“Mum please hold me, please play with me, please don’t leave me alone, I want you now”. Tami cried but her mum only looked at her with sorrow filled eyes before walking away. She watched her mum move slowly away from her, shoulders drooping as if overburdened by the weight of her sorrow and pain.

Tami’s heart squeezed in pain as she struggled to breathe. She wanted to feel the soft touch of her mother’s hand and embrace the warmth of her body while inhaling deeply the scent exclusive to her only. Her mother’s unique scent made her calm for she loved her very much. Unfortunately, her mum would not come to her for she had rejected her not just the previous day, but too many times. She wished she was given another to chance to show her mum just how much she wanted to receive her love and affection but each time that love was given, she repelled against it without knowing why.


Congratulations it’s a girl”. The doctor pronounced eventually.

Ibimina sighed in great relief, exhaling the large amount of tired air from her weary lungs. Relief flooded her like an ocean sweeping it shores clean. She rested her heavy head on Tolu’s chest allowing her body receive comfort from his presence and the gentle stroking of his hands on her head and her upper back. Finally she was free from carrying a child in her body for 41 whole weeks. She was finally rid of dealing with back pains, itching tummy, nausea, swollen feets, erratic appetites, mood swings and strange cravings. Her labour had been terrible and scary.

At 41 weeks with no sign of contraction, Ibimina was told she would have to be induced to get the baby out. She couldn’t have agreed more, her feet were completely gone, and she was tired of the constant back pain that had become her constant companion. As she laid on the hospital bed, the doctor came to check for the umpteenth time to see if she had dilated properly even though she had been induced 8 hours ago.

“I will have to break your water, it seems your baby is distress”. The doctor had said

She panicked when she heard this and started to cry. Tolu had tried to calm her but it did not stop her from feeling like a failure for being unable to dilate like every normal woman.

“Babe, I have trapped our baby inside me”. She cried

“Shhh don’t be like that. Our baby simply loves you too much to want to come out. Take a deep breathe, it will be fine”.

Ten minutes after the doctor burst her water the labour pain that wracked through her body was another matter she didn’t feel like reminiscing about. When the pain went to her lower back ‘back labour’ she was certain that she was in hell. She screamed.

She knew labour was no play in the park but she also did not expect the excruciating, immensely painful pain that accompanied each contraction. She was only 3 centimetre dilated and couldn’t yet receive an epidural. She forgot to breathe after a while, teeth tightly clenched, she focused all her mind on surviving the pain. She wished she had opted for a c-section, as the pain worked itself skilfully on her body. “Of what use is suffering with natural birth when there is an easy way out?” She whimpered

Her private hurt like crazy, the painful sensation refusing to go away. All she wanted to do was close her eyes, sleep and pray all the pain go away but just at the very minute that thought came to her mind, she felt another contraction. Shocked that she was having another contraction having already delivered her baby, she panicked in fear until she was told by the nurse that she was delivering the placenta. She and her baby had gone through a lot of stress, It seemed the umbilical cord was wrapped around her baby’s neck and she had been short of oxygen for a few minute. Her baby being in distress and the pain of labour could have been shortened if she had chosen to do a CS. Unfortunately for her, she had thought that having a natural childbirth would make her feel like a real woman.

The constant cry of a baby distracted her from drifting into the sleep she so much craved for. She knew it was the child she delivered, the child she had longed to love and cater for only. It felt like a dream. Despite the pain and the anticipation, she was still unable to comprehend the miracle she beheld and so she continued to look at her child.

“Hello cutie, come meet your mama”. She heard one of the nurses say. It was not until she had skin to skin contact with her baby that she felt love bubble in her heart. She beheld her bundle of joy who immediately stopped crying as soon as she began to sing for her.

“Hello princess welcome to my world. From the depth of my heart I love you, I hope you know that I loved you even before I saw you…”  Ibimina whispered affectionately to her newborn baby; her voice full of emotion. It would seem the child understood what her mother was saying for they both gazed into each other’s eyes, lost in their own world.

As it is the norm for most new mothers, love flooded her heart only that the pain of labour was still eminent on her body. Ibimina had assumed that once she sees her baby all the pain go away. “Another false myth”. She scuffed in her mind.

“Oh my darling you’re now a mother and you’ve made me a father!” Tolu whispered as he breezed into the room where she was transferred.. He was holding a large bouquet of red roses on one hand and a baby pink helium balloon that said ‘It’s a girl’. Ibimina giggled as she watched him struggle to hold all the things and at the same time the way his emotions clearly displayed themselves on his face.

Tolu was beyond excited, he was in awe. This was his seed, the fruit of his loins. Tears clogged his throat,he blinked severally to control the tears from rolling down his face.

“Are you okay love?” He asked instead

“Yes I am. Just weak and in pains”. Ibimia replied with a smile on her lips.

“You’ve made me proud Ibimina, please be strong for us okay?” He kissed the top of her head as he  held her hands in loving affection. He was still afraid to carry his child for fear that he would hurt her tiny frame with his big hands. A child who he has already promised to love. A child he would name Tamilore, for God has given him a gift.

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Oh yes he had promised to love her,cherish her on the day she was born, only if she made it easy for him.

“Leave me “. She screamed and he had no choice but to leave.


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