Just because the weekend is almost here. Yay! #TGIF ….Enjoy!
I begin to have an headache after all the tears. It’s now four hours since Tayo left me alone to go to only God knows where. I actually do feel very hurt and worried , I don’t know if I should be angry with him or not .
“How dare he leave me alone cos’ of a story; who else will I tell about my activities if not my husband”. I think aloud
“Chai my food is wasted after all the wahala. Tayo will not find it funny at all oo”. I grumble and grumble some more until I find myself awake from sleep.I try to remember what I was doing before I drifted off. The series of events that led me into this state topple over me causing me to jerk.
Heart beating twice the usual rate, my eyes scans the dimly lit room for Tayo. I did not realise how worried I was until I feel my body weaken in relieve when I sighted the silhouette of his body. “Thank God he’s safe “. I whisper,my hands on my chest.
He is sleeping on his sides, facing the opposite side of the bed. I don’t waste time I hug him tightly from behind. I close my eyes to properly inhale his personalized scent. His scent is a mixture of his person and a Giorgio Armani cologne. I linger in that position for a while out of gratitude that my husband is beside me. In his absence, negative thoughts had evaded my mind like bees chasing after honey, making me to panic in fear. Despite my several repetition of the blood of Jesus my body still shivered.
My power cannot be tapped by reciting my name like a magic charm. You’ve got to connect with me to access that. I desire to fellowship with you Omolade.
“Hey babes are you okay?” I hear him ask in a low voice.
I keep quiet. I am too emotionally constrained to utter a word. I feel guilty for neglecting fellowship with God even worse, I had made by husband angry .”devil is a liar “. You see, love makes you this way. Your senses takes leave of you and you hurt when the one you love is hurting.
That’s how I feel about you. I hurt when you hurt, I hurt more when I cannot get to talk to you.
“Tayo turns to accommodate me. I am now laying on his broad chest; while his right hand engulfs me in a warm deep embrace. I feel cocooned in love and peace ; it gets to me and my eyes pool with tears. I try to blink it away but I can’t stop. The tears drops from my eyes, running through his well sculptured muscled chest to his biceps.
I really do not know why I am crying exactly but I feel relieved doing it. I am assuming its a combination of guilt, remorse ,gratitude and love.
Tayo does not ask me anything instead he rubs by arms in a comforting manner . He begins to sing an old song written by Sinach ;
“Come feel our heart holyspirit;
Breathe upon us breath of life
Just as the deer pantheth for water
So our soul longs after thee
Fresh dew from heaven
Giver of life
Breathe upon us breathe of life
That we may know,the joy of your presence
Sweet spirit of God, sweet spirit of God “.
Unlike me ,Tayo’s voice is sonorous melodious. I am not even joking. The songs elevates my spirit and I feel an unexplainable peace descend in my heart. I guess I shouldn’t have acted the way I did, I should have responded in love. I am aware that I am responsible for whomever God brings my way.
“I’ll try to apologise to Ashley”. I decide
When Tayo and I eventually made love that night, there was a major difference;for lack of appropriate adjective to describe the feeling I would say it was new and refreshing, like I was meeting my husband anew. It was simply awesome and filling.
I would later discuss this with Tayo and he’ll tell me it’s the breathe of the holyspirit; He makes things new; he rekindles for there is only life in him. I do not tell him that I think we might have conceived a child that night for fear that my mind maybe playing tricks on me and I lacked faith to vocalize my thoughts into reality.
I don’t know if I should be upset with Tayo when he eventually told me where he went to after a lot of pleading from me.
I raise my voice in shock. “Tayo!!!! 4 hours plus of prayer! What if something had happened to me? Or don’t you love me again? How could you have left me like that?”. I fire at him
“Relax. Nothing can happen to you Omolade and you know that for a fact. What kind of thought are you even entertaining in your mind? Remember philipians 4:18? . You are only suppose to think about things that are good,pure, lovely,good report…”
I cut him short. “Leave me jor..”
He comes close to me before I walk away and gently begins to rub my hair.
“Babe I can only love you because the author of love teaches me how to and so it’s necessary I spend that much time with him”. Tayo says.
I guess I am supposed to be happy that my husband is grounded in the word and would not leave me or cheat on me or do other things that most women complain about but instead I am jealous.
I am ashamed to say it but I must say it….before I explode in envy.
I think I am my husband’s side chick and God is his main chick.
“God I don’t want to be a side chick!!!!!!! “. I cry
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