“I can’t believe you hit me Zoe, I hope it made you feel better?”. Andrew threw in sarcastic tone.He laughed without humor as he rubbed his cheeks.
He came close to her . “I asked you a question Zee. That was me giving you the opportunity to decide on what you want in this relationship. I know I am wrong, I hurt you several times, I admit. But what I won’t do is to stand in your face and promise you that it won’t happen again. I am a man for heaven’s sake! don’t you get it?”. Thick veins appeared on his neck as he enunciated each word slowly as if she complained to him that she had an hearing problems. He paused. pacing the corridor, apparently too agitated to stay in one place.
“What are you telling me Andrew?”. She asked in a low trebling voice.Her eyes matted with tears.
“I am not saying that cheating is exclusive to men only, but get it in your head,this is not M&B or one of the scene in those random romance novels you read. I am not one of the characters that will promise you paradise. I am me! This is reality and you have to decide if you want to deal with my shit or not!”. He spat each word in anger.
She could tell he was angry with the way his veins were straining against the skin of his neck and by his tightly clenched fist.. She was scared seeing him like that. Andrew had never spoken to her that way before, well maybe because she had never been this broken or caught him red handed in the act of cheating.
“Look at me when I talk to you Zoe”. He shouted . “Shit! Shit! Shit!”. He cussed.
“Please stop it Zee! Stop it right this minute! stop crying I say!” He instructed in a stern voice.
She hurriedly cleaned her face and locked up her tear duct to prevent more tears.
“That’s better mon chere”. He said, a small smile lingering on his lips, obviously relieved that she had stopped crying.
Zoe felt the dam in her eyes burst open again with full force as she heard that word and her eyes flooded with tears one more time. She cried from her soul, wrapping her hands around her body as if shielding her heart from further pain. How dare he call her ‘Mon chere” and hurt her like this…
He had called her ‘mon chere’ the first day they made love. He had been so gentle yet insanely intense. It was beyond passionate, it was more of a connection of souls and when they had both come back from the peak of the heavens,he had cradled her in his arms, kissing her eye lobes gently, he had whispered it to her ears. It was a word he used on her on very few occasions to express his love in the most beautiful sense and now in the midst of this chaos he dared use that word on her, weakening her resolve.
“Bloody hell” She heard Andrew cuss. Strong hands lifted her off the floor and he moved into her room. She turned her face into his chest inhaling his scent. The scent that reminded her of so many good things she wanted to linger on but had to control herself not to.
He dropped her gently on the bed and proceeded to peel each item of clothing away from her skin. She felt her nipples harden in anticipation of what was to come but was disappointed when at the end of the task, he lifted her up again and headed to the bathroom. If he noticed her disappointed he did not nothing to show it .
“Try to take a bath, it will calm you down,I’ll be right back”. He said leaving her alone.
She did as he had instructed and felt better. She got out of the bathroom slowly, picked up a robe, turned on her music player and then laid on the bed. Too tired to think, too tired to cry . She listened to “Stronger’ by ‘Mandisa’ allowing the lyrics of the song penetrate into her spirit.
“When the waves are taking you under.
Hold on just a little bit longer ,
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger .
The pain ain’t gonna last forever And things can only get better, Believe me this is gonna make you stronger.
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger Believe me, this is gonna make you Stronger”………….
“How’s the woman I adore doing?” Leroy whispered,nuzzling her neck. She chuckled, gently opening her eyes,still basking in the aftermath of their sweet love-making and in the arms wrapped around her.
Tye Tribette song played at the background: “Tell me what can I do, I can’t live without you, I can’t leave without you. Oh tell me ! What can I do oo?”…..
She had sung that song so many times in church unto God, but as she listened, this time she dedicated the song to Leroy cos’ really she didn’t think she would survive without him. He was her addiction, her obsession and her bad habit.
” Are we good now babe?” Leroy asked
“Sure we are” She smiled giving him a kiss.
“I’ll be travelling tomorrow,will you miss me?”. Leroy asked seductively
She was shocked that he was just telling her, but as usual she assumed he forgot. “That’s good, do you want me to help you pack?”
“Who else do I have but you, please help your man pack. I’ll be gone for a week” He said as he got up to pull out a black suitcase. “Don’t you want to know where I am going?”
“I trust you my honey bunny suckle love”. She cooed, pulling both his cheeks in a playful manner.
“what can I do without you sugar?” He asked
“You tell me” She replied,flirting.
And Shade’s felt her world become right again, laughing naked and feeling cool with herself as Leroy entertained her with funny stories while she helped him pack for his trip.She glowed with happiness as she listened to him sing “Empire’s, You’re so beautiful” song to her and when he got to the part of ‘go up down, up down up down’ she unveiled her inner beast and they ended back on the bed, wrestling beneath the sheet, continuing the music in another tempo.
“You know what darling, I think I need a vacation as well, let me come with you”. Shade said in the middle of their love making as she gasped in pleasure poured into her.
For an infinitesimal second she felt the world freeze immediately the sentence dropped out of her mouth. Leroy gently pulled out of her,slowly getting up from the bed.
“Is everything okay dear?”. She queried, a confused look on her face.
“Why do you want to go with me this time? you’ve never in our three years of being requested to travel with me other than our planned vacation tripe”. He responded.
“Maybe cos’ I love you now more than I did three years ago”. She replied grinning.
“First thing first why did you leave me hanging? not fair at all”. She pouted.
“You threw me off-balance, sorry dear”. He replied pulling her close.
“Apology accepted, only if you help take out my weaves”. She said placing her self between his legs.
“Anything for my babe. But do you really want to come with me on the trip”. He asked.
“I think I changed my mind”. She winked.
“I don’t mind you coming though, by the way I think there are more exciting things to do than taking out your weaves”.
“I don’t think so dear” She replied in a sweet soft tone. She looked at him for a moment. She was not the 24 year old girl, he met three years ago, They say with age comes with wisdom and she was definitely not lacking in sagacity even though she loved him with every fiber of her being.
“Are you cheating on me Leroy?, I just want a Yes or No and nothing more.” She asked out of the blues.
This time the world did freeze and it was more than an infinitesimal second.
“NO, I am not cheating on you”. He stressed.
“Then why don’t you want me to come with you on your trip. I swear, I will curse you if you think of lying to me”.She screamed.
“You want hear the truth?” He asked quietly.
She hissed as a response.
“I was going to…..”. He was saying when the ringing of her phone cut him off.
“You know what, keep your excuse to your sorry self cos’ it’s all over you that you are lying”. She said, as she walked to the bathroom to receive the call.
“Hello” She said to the caller.
“Hi, this is Tochi”
“Hi Tochi,watsup?” .
“Nothing is up without you”. He replied in his usual way.
She smiled. Tochi had been on her matter for a very long time, even though he knew she was in a relationship.
“I guess you want to meet me somewhere”. She said.
“Of course,you know that already babe”. He replied happily.
“I’ll send my address to you”.
“Wow, today is definitely my lucky day”. She heard him say.
If only he knew, he was her rebound. She thought. At the same time she wanted to believe Leroy her boyfriend of three years, but since he decided to mess with her, she was going to mess him up big time. She would not sulk cos’ of a guy, No way!. She thought, vigorously shaking her head.
As she walked into the room she saw Leroy sobbing and she laughed. A deep heartfelt laughter.
“Come on Leroy, that is so 18th century, come up with something new. That style expired a long time ago”. “I have an idea for you”. She smiled when he looked up at her.
“Get me a ring or drown in your tears!”
She had eventually called Amir and after several chats and long phone calls, they agreed to meet. It was fun talking to him for they had so much in common. She was never at loss of words with him.The only problem was that she had no one to talk to about the new feelings she was developing for him since Deb her BFF and house mate wasn’t in support of her meeting with Amir.
Anyways,she was going on a date with Amir tonight and she wanted to look her best for him. The last time he saw her, she was in work clothes , she wanted him to see her in a new light.
She ran her hands over her hips, admiring her horizon blue, backless, long sleeve, mini lace dress. Her body embraced the cool texture of the material as it clung to her skin.She had gotten it at her favorite store,7th Cleo that morning.The dress bespoke Elegance and that boosted her confidence. She paired it up with a blush bag and heel. She had initially wanted to wear a fun floral crop with culotte coordinates and dress it up with a caped white blazer and metallic heel but she changed her mind.
She sneaked out of the house. For some reason, she did not want Deb to see her with Amir yet. Just as she shut the door behind her, she saw an unfamiliar car drive in. She smiled “That has to be Amir and he has just scored a point for punctuality”.
She was suddenly nervous and she stood rooted in a spot, watching him walk towards her. She turned on her radar, scanning him quickly.
“Not too fine, but cute (Manageable)”, “Broad shoulders. wow, (Excellent)”, “Nice designer wristwatch(Attractive)”, “Good choice of clothes(Make sense)”, “Tall,(Touche)”, “Nice lips (oh la la” ), “Nice…….”
“You look like you want to be kissed” . His low baritone voice interrupted her Analysis of him.
She jolted in surprise. Usually, her examination took only about five seconds.She lowered her head, trying to get her bearing. “Nice shoes” her thought added.
“Shut up,enough of examining him”. She cautioned her thoughts.
“Can we go now?” Amir said, holding her gently by the elbows.
His touch was cool on her skin,not the electrifying feel that they usually write in romance novels. “I wouldn’t mind really having butterflies in my tummy when we eventually kiss”. She thought.
“So you’re already thinking of kissing him”. Her thought voiced out in her head.
“Shut up I say” . She told her thought once more. “We will think of only what is good and acceptable unto the lord”
“So when did having a good kiss become not good”. Her thought replied.
“Can we just think about how good God is please?”. She pleaded with her thoughts
“If you wanted me to think of Jesus, why didn’t you wear a maxi dress and leave your face bereft of makeup,so when Amir sees you, he sees you as Mary, mother of Jesus”. Her thought retorted.
“I see you want to stay quiet”. Amir said interrupting the discussion she was having with her thoughts. He took his eyes briefly off the road to glance in her direction.
She only smiled. If only he knew the battles that was going on in her mind. She had to put her ‘thoughts’ under subjection or else it might just disgrace her.
“Hmm didn’t you tell Deb you were sleeping out tonight? Are we going for a church vigil or are we ending up in his bed?”. Her thoughts popped up again.
“Can you just do as I say and shut up!” She lashed at her thoughts.
“Despite all your attempt to look better than Kim kardashian,he didn’t even say you looked beautiful”. This time she didn’t rebuke her thought, instead she nodded in acquiescence.
Determined to put the voice of her thoughts far away, she turned to Amir, where are we heading to ?
“Somewhere you won’t have a problem with”. He replied with a smile.
“Amir and his complex way of replying” She thought.
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